An Investigation into the Mid-Air Collision during Top-Secret Mission: Always Monitoring

What we know:

A mid-air collision involving two airmen has occurred during a top secret mission aimed at ridding Midway of an insidious Axis listening station. The following photographs reveal the true story:

It is the official finding of the War Department’s Special Committee on Spectacularly Failed Operations (WDSCSFO) that the cause of this incident was exceedingly poor communication and flying on the parts of both Lt. Wilmer “Uncle Sticky” Stickenfocker and Cpt. David “Dickie” Martinez. The blame is believed to be distributed equally.

The pilotwings of both airmen are to be posthumously revoked, their ranks similarly stripped, and, as the remains of neither man are available for the purpose, mock remains are to be constructed of both men and buried after being vigorously urinated upon.

END REPORT

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2 thoughts on “An Investigation into the Mid-Air Collision during Top-Secret Mission: Always Monitoring

  1. Very thorough reporting.

    UPDATE: Post-war interviews from captured Japanese naval soldiers suggest that although the bombs from Cpt. Dickie’s aircraft failed to reach the target, the damage captured in the photographs above was actually the result of direct hits from the rockets fired from Cpt. Dickie’s aircraft and that the author of this report must have been blind as a bat not to have seen that during the captured footage.

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